love, without strings

i often hear in conversation how “God loves me despite my imperfections” or “it’s okay i’m not perfect,” and “i never will be.”

while certainly it is true we are loved without any stipulations, and one of the most beautiful aspects of this world are every individual’s unique characteristics, every whim, inclination, story, talent, lack thereof, that doesn’t mean we won’t suffer the consequences for disobedience,

but that also doesn’t mean we’re not missing out on a more fulfilling, invigorating life experience.

what people are referring to is unconditional love, which means despite our transgressions against natural laws of this universe, created by one hand, common to all people, regardless of religion, we are still and always loved.

which is certainly true.

the fact we are alive, given the supernatural and physical essence to enjoy the fruits of this world, despite however much severe darkness that follows us, or have most likely experienced, inherently means we are loved.

to be alive, regardless of circumstance, high or low, is to be loved.

the problem arises when we think:

• falsely about what love is,

• there is no love,

• we can do whatever we want and not suffer consequences,

• there’s no point in aiming for perfect, because we’ll never get there.

not only that, but because we forget we are prone to suffering consequences, we’re also missing out on the greatest love, peace, harmony, and unity inherently available to us in ever moment, perfect love, the highest aim.

if perfect weren’t possible, what’s the point in striving for something better?

growth in this case would always reach a limit, and there wouldn’t be any purpose for striving for perfect, thereby instilling immediate stagnation.

how depressing.

but that’s not true. and that’s not infinite love.

love, contrary to popular opinion, is not fun and games. in fact, love is the opposite. love on the outside looks harsh, cruel, and painful, not for the unseen purpose of being harsh, cruel, and painful, but for the unseen purpose of acting as the stimulus for growth.

love is honest, which therefore kind. not vice versa.

being loving to someone isn’t telling them what they want to hear, it’s telling them in kindness, with a loving heart, what they need to hear, which is painful.

love therefore implies there are things both good and bad for us to strive for, which means by striving for the right things, we are rewarded, and when striving for the wrong, disobedient, we suffer consequences.

when we walk in disobedience, we forego this kind of infinite beauty, which cannot be seen except under full trust, commitment, and surrender unto a greater hand than our own.

we have chosen to take the fruit from the tree, based on the blindness and darkness of those around us, passed to us, unfair yes, but common to all humans, thereby forgoing the infinite potential lying beyond our level of comprehension, which requires faith to know and experience for ourselves.

conversely, in obedience, we forego immediate pleasure for a muchgreater future.

this is love.

think of it in terms of parenting, the holiest of unions in creation:

man, woman, and child.

when perfectly unified, there is no stronger a force.

to love your child would never mean to give them everything they want, or allow them to chase every desire.

of course they want only what they can understand, so they ask for milk when that’s what they know, until toys come along, then rollercoasters, a new car, an iPhone, and so on.

as the parent, it requires you understand where they are AND where they are headed, and therefore give them what they need, not what they want,

based on where they are, developmentally, a gentle stretch of their comfort zone so they develop into well functioning adults.

a child provided every whim is not going to be a well functioning child in society. they will be, without question, spoiled, entitled, unable to handle stress, socially narcissistic, dysfunctional, maybe even addicted to substances not intended for safe human consumption.

in addition, a child who is not disciplined for disobedience to the rules of the house will not be a well-functioning member of society.

while discipline is painful in the moment, clearly the child doesn’t wantto be disciplined, nor does the parent necessarily enjoy punishing their kids, but the parent knows what awaits on the other side of discipline: a better child,

a happier life experience for them, honor and glory in the form of a child who is productive, loving, and generous, etc.

without discipline, and with excess empathy for their immediate needs, they could never develop into what they could become. what is more loving than helping someone become the highest version of themselves, until what is left but perfect?

by feeding immediate desires to make them happy in the moment, you automatically prevent growth by extracting their joy from internal, honest love to an external dependency.

further, given things to make carnal desires happy, they cannot know what’s possible for them, always limited, distracted by what they see in front of their eyes, instead of trusting their hearts, or what lies beyond their awareness.

a truly loving parental figure helps guide them to places they never could have conceived possible, which requires discipline.

discipline is based on a previously prescribed set of rules, that when followed lead to happiness and joy for all parties involved. though, being the troublemakers we typically are, as was i, we somehow always want to find the line and live beyond it as a way of testing our capabilities, what’s possible, what isn’t being shown to our limited understanding of the wonderful world.

after failing to acquire what we thought we wanted, we’ll only then understand how discipline was made for a purpose, to be guided toward a brighter future, to become more than we currently are, experience more happiness in the form of growth and improvement, therefore more giving, therefore more love.

when we understand what true love is, we’ll understand that discipline really isn’t cruel, it’s love. and that to be disciplined is a sign of love, one that hones us, makes you better in all facets, carves your sculpture out of marble, creating a beautiful masterpiece.

when you experience discipline, despite your dismay, trust that beyond the now, is a better future.

and obedience isn’t some kind of authoritarian construct designed to manipulate you into doing something ill-conducive for your safety and well-being, it’s actually required for true happiness, joy, and peace.

a good, obedient dog knows where he gets his food. for him to follow his own desires would lead to pain, therefore he abides in the confines of the rules, thereby receiving what the truly good owner knows is best for his dog.

a love which allows you to do whatever you want is not love, but abuse. it’s misunderstanding what is most important in this world, which is continual growth and independence, a resonance with true love, momentary ascension into higher realms of living and experiencing life.

to sum up,

unconditional love doesn’t provide the excuse to continue to live in your sin, and just because you aren’t perfect doesn’t mean that’s not where you’re supposed to aim.

failing to even try to receive the holiest love, the inherent life source of every living and non-living entity, the very electromagnetic, quantum, sinusoidal wave fabric this entire universe is made of, is a failure of man-kind, a failure of a life.

if you’re to aim for something, it may as well be something that is everlasting, one that guides you to infinity, freedom, and unlimited joy in the form of perfect, unconditional love.

thank you for your support. i hope you found this helpful.

in love,

david

what I thought I wanted wasn’t enough

i had everything i thought i wanted. 

i bought and lived in a big house, held a well-paying job
in a perceived lucrative industry, lived close to friends, 
just ended a short pro-football career, 
drove a nice Audi sports car, watched every tv show,
movies whenever i wanted, big screen, and i could go on 
trips to Iceland and Costa Rica.

as suns and seasons passed, i felt a growing, nagging sense 
of frustration, isolation, disconnectedness, despair, and dysfunction.

as i felt more of these unpleasant emotions, 
i would gravitate toward whatever would provide 
quick resolution, such as a drink, tv show, movie, 
an upcoming trip, or as simple as mindlessly scrolling 
through my phone to avoid the stark reality 
plaguing my bleak moment-to-moment existence.

i constantly made complaints about my situation, 
such as not being healthy or sleeping well, not being where 
i wanted to be in the world, not enjoying how i’m spending my time 
and wondering how i should be somewhere else, somewhere
bigger to meet new people, a different life experience, 
having spent most of my time around the same group, 
who were great, but it felt stagnant.

i wanted more, but i wasn’t willing to change my strategy.

i soon discovered a growing sense of disconnection
between what i wanted, what i was doing, and 
how my environment either helped me achieve
what i wanted for myself, or didn’t.

i also often complained about other people, their problems, 
their lack of interest or support in my ambition, goals, 
as well as things i didn’t have, such as enough money to support 
the things i had, which clearly weren’t enough, as well as 
my desire to move somewhere else, be something else, 
to be what i always thought i could be.

the problem always existed outside of me, instead of 
looking at myself and what i could do to be more 
aligned with what i truly wanted.

but i didn’t really know what i wanted, and my 
decisions were often rapidly rash, changing my mind
often because it never felt right. 

despite how chaotic it looked from the outside,
with every decision, i learned more about what
i wanted, what i didn’t want. i quit my well-paying job and 
went back to school where i remembered how well i could 
do in school, where i remembered about the impact
i want to have and can have, given the right pursuit.

with a simple shift, i began to remember who i was.

then i was accepted into medical school, which brought 
instant elation, though soon after i realized there was 
still a disconnection between what i wanted, what i believed, 
and what i would be learning. 

i pushed off enrolling due to this doubt, which many people
thought was crazy and confusing, as did i, constantly
feeling a sense of regret about not having trusted
the ability to take a path so many would pounce at the 
opportunity to take.

doubt was a signal too. i trusted it, and i pushed off
taking the common path out of fear i missed whatever it was
that was most aligned to what i truly wanted for myself,
as i slowly came into awareness of what that was:

internal peace.

i wasn’t at peace, which was difficult for me to understand,
meaning i was reaching for things to fix the massive void 
within which made the situation temporarily 
manageable, which only exacerbated the problem, as the 
real problem never resolved because i had an excuse 
not to fix it. 

why would i want to solve a much more difficult pain
when i could push it off with a quick fix right then?

except the pain only worsened, and i needed greater
stimulation to ignore the growing void.

this strategy only caused greater blindness, as i would 
go out of my way to protect what i held most dear to my heart, 
out of fear beyond that departure i would never survive, 

though it only further removed me from being able to 
instill the peace i never knew i wanted, or could have,
which only caused greater dependency
on those outside things, greater lack of peace.

over time, i realized i needed to take accountability 
for my own actions, such as the role my behavior had
in this current state, like drinking, running a business 
i didn’t really want to run, living with someone who i knew 
wasn’t a good fit for me, all of which were external sources 
of immediate comfort, despite the lack of peace behind it,
caused by internal depletion and disconnection.

as i rid myself of those dependencies, i found clarity 
around what i desired, which meant i knew more about
myself as a person, and how i would make decisions
based on immediate, logical solutions rather than what 
would provide internal peace i subconsciously sought.

when i found clarity, i found greater confidence making decisions,
a difference in taste, inclinations, desires, and reasons
for choosing one thing over another. i realized that
the more stimulation i surrounded myself with, the cloudier
my vision was, as in i was distracted by the energy associated
external sources of stimulation. i had to pay attention,
energy directed outward, to those things, therefore making decisions
based on their energy input, external influence, 
instead of being able to discern what my heart told me.

as i shed layers of external stimulation, i discovered 
greater internal stimulation, renewal of internal peace, 
a reminder of who i am, what makes me me, which
i barely knew being constantly over-stimulated,
requiring over-stimulation to even feel alive, 

where i could soon detect how external joys stripped 
me of internal remembrance, peace, and joy, 
therefore being isolated in the sense where my peace 
came from within, my guiding light,
requiring nothing but my own heart beat 
to feed me the peace i always sought.

i walk now not to be stimulated by delicious things
modernity provides, which only previously held me 
in more isolation and disconnection than i’ve ever felt, 
despite the superficial connection it claims to provide, 
so that internal peace may always be the sole deciding 
factor and experience i wish to instill within. 

having lived so long in disconnection, i didn’t know
what true connection felt like. now, being connected,
understanding what it feels like to know true peace,
going back would seem like a rebellion against
all things that are good. as I seek my own peace,
i now find a renewed, profound connection to 
things around me, attuned to love, instead of an external
conversation we usually cling to prevent ourselves from 
going into places we don’t want to go, our own heart.


——————————

pain is associated with every decision, whether it 
comes on the forefront or the backend: 

the pain of regretting having not listened to your heart, 
taking immediate stimulation for backend depletion,

or the pain of making a difficult decision trusting
something you cannot see, hiding deep within external 
stimulation, which doesn’t feel right in the moment,
but leads to everlasting peace and independent joy.

in every moment, we have a critical decision to make, 
about where we spend our time, how we spend our time,
what we use to instill whatever sense of peace we 
seek, who we spend our time with. 

in this world that provides so much immediate stimulation,
may the peace we seek be sought from within, and 
may we live in honesty, speak our honesty, an immediate
pain, that could only ever bring everlasting joy.

may we shift our reach from external problems & solutions
to internal resolution, where every decision is solely
focused on instilling peace within, 
which changes your life,
therefore changes the world.





thanks for reading. i hope you find this meaningful to your life.

please let me know if there is a different topic you’d like me to share.


in love,

david

remember your purpose as the center of every story

today i’m pondering the word sonder, or how every person i cross has a unique story with various levels of problems and complexities, while also their own set of prescribed solutions, and how whether they are effective or provide at least some sort of relief, and the beauty that arises as you consider how wonderful the world is in its uniqueness and equally how wonderful it would be if each person found the solution to not just one of their many problems, and how energy directed in numerous external directions depletes energy from the main focal point of your heart, but instead helps them rise completely out of a sinking ship into heavenly air upon the lift of their human, yet God-gifted wings.

within every human, there is a story to be told, whether tragic or comedic or a combination of both. as storied creatures, we gravitate towards stories that resonate with us. such as Harry Potter, having been intricately connected to a dark power inextricable from his person, therefore taking it upon himself to face the prospect of death to conquer evil.

whether or not it is fiction is irrelevant, as the story for some reason or another resonated with millions, if not billions of people across the world. this story resonates, as do others because they reflect some deeply intertwined story found within our human experience, within our DNA, and more importantly within our hearts.

the best stories are the ones that speak to our hearts, therefore resonate, as somewhere deep inside we understand how that story speaks to an issue we are currently working through, then how it inspires, breathes life into us, by pointing out a perspective different than we previously we could have thought ourselves. by reading stories, you’re allowing someone to teach you how to fix a problem as they have already overcome that problem, without struggling through it on your own, the inefficient, trial and error way.

and how unfortunate would it be to not understand there even is a problem, to be completely unaware of a greater life that awaits you.

self-help and non-fiction how-to books do this to some, logical level, as they aim to tell a story based on facts. you read these books to learn something about their lives or the strategy implemented for overcoming some problem. if you read them without the intention of implementing their framework into your understanding and current operations, then what a waste of time that would be. they say don’t reinvent the wheel, well, what’s the point of reading if you are not seeking to learn how to overcome some problem, which 100 times out of 100 has already been conquered, however demoralizing or tragic it might be.

stories replicate over time. stories resonate and propogate when they strike a chord with the most amount of people, which means their hearts have been touched by the courage, creativity, and seemingly miraculous nature of the resolution.

this is similar to the STAR method commonly used in interviews, where the interviewee describes a time when… Situation, Task, Action, Response, and thereby exemplifies the ability for the candidate to tell a story. the better the story, the better it reflects the emotional depth to which they could illustrate their thoughts, the better chances they have of landing the job. story telling is the ability to empathize with another, therefore the very act of writing is placing yourself in your characters shoes and understanding the entire universe to which they create for the reader to digest.

if the writer does it, then far be it for you to read it as if they are not speaking directly to you.

to walk through the world by simply grinding through it like a lone army ranger crawling through a treacherous mud pit, isn’t very efficient, especially if there is a solution that could lift you, now, despite how adamant you are to crawl, as it’s the only thing you’ve ever known.

this is the critical importance of reading as a mechanism for learning, shifting your perspective, and rising out of your problems instead of plugging every hole only until another several million pop up.

if people read self-help books with the intention of applying something impactful to their lives, which only further enforces their logical brain’s power, however inspiring it may be, yet does very little to help the reader think for themselves, then how much greater would reading a story that paints an entire universe in your mind which also resonates with the most intimate recesses of our heart.

by reading stories, poetry, looking at art, listening to beautiful classical music, or songs that make us tap into the parts of us that don’t just make us feel happy, but remind us of what truly matters in this world, we are re-training our mind-heart connection, the divine spark of creativity in this world.

and if you look at these various forms of art and realize how each one is nothing without your eye to read, ear to hear, tongue to taste, or heart to feel, then you’ll realize that at the center of every story is not some distant character with crazy attributes or talents, but is in fact nothing more than you.

you are the center of every story, and the stories that resonate throughout humanity, these are the ones that hold the answers to every problem. by placing yourself at the center, or placing yourself in another’s shoes, or empathy, you begin to understand how love, not more logic, not more instruction and condemnation, but sharing the tragic hero’s experience to provide the rocket fuel for you to rise, therefore inspiring others to rise, by showing them that if you can do something that seems to be impossible, is the solution that you have always been waiting for.

without you, there is nothing worth living for. there is no life, love, or happiness, and there is no beauty. pure beauty lies directly within your heart, and when you realize that eternal happiness lies not as you struggle within and through your problems, but by releasing from them, rising, and experiencing the vibrant life you never could have known, you’ll never look back to the life that made you question where true love is found, and how putting everyone but yourself first, was the very problem all along.

the day in which we all live with our empathetic hearts shining above all else is the day of perfection awaiting every single one of us.

i encourage you, as you read my poems, my work, or read a fiction or non-fiction book, that you begin to place yourself at the center of that story, true empathy. when you read, read to learn for yourself how you can lift out of your problems and rise into higher levels, more divine levels of the human experience.

thank you so much for your support. i hope this message was inspiring. please be sure to share this with someone you might think would enjoy it.

in superabounding love,

david

what is love & spirituality?

For those who follow me on Instagram, you may be wondering what my posts about love mean, coming from a former NFL football player who coached for a short time then turned into a poet who writes about love and what that has to do with anything aside from romanticism, which is certainly not to be looked down upon.

Simply, I’m here to tell you that there is nothing more potent a force in the world than love, and to write about love, to understand love, and to orient your life based on true love is, in my opinion, the highest of all endeavors. Even further, to know which love is true, is to be aligned to the highest good the world has ever known. In fact, the Creator of the world is and can never be anything other than true love.

Love is the foundation of the world and the primary reason for anything we do. What we love directs our attention, provides us with some semblance of satisfaction, whether that be fully satiating, or quickly depleting, thereby lies the deceptive nature of love.

True love, however, the one that never fades, the one that holds humanity together through uproarious waves of obscene acts of terror, evil, and hate, the only one that provides the pathway to absolute freedom, once understood would never be doubted, questioned, or mistaken for a lesser love.

Our hearts beat to the drum we orient to, like a musical tune, frequency, or a gravitational force, and finding true love is like tuning your heart to a wonderful symphonic orchestra which provides immediate resolution, peace, and joy, restoring your heart to fertile soil eager to produce fruits.

Peace, or resonance, with true love is the most valued, and longest forgotten, human experience on earth. The day that each individual human orients to true love, finding peace within as the primary focus for their lives now, means that peace will forever be restored.

Conversely, seeking peace at a future date, waiting on something else to provide that peace, immediately orients your heart to a false drum, one that depletes your energy, and causes confusion about love, where to walk, and how to experience the world in peace in every moment.

This is only the beginning of my work on love, and as you can see, love is the most powerful force in the world, and when you begin to understand that power is a precious resource, one that can be used for ulterior motives, you’ll begin to understand how ones in power usurp that power for their own benefit, and therefore cause confusion about what it means to live with your heart full of love, leading the way through the narrow path to freedom.

Spirituality

In addition to love, spirituality is another closely tied sole focus of my work as a poet, which is often misconstrued. Spirituality is the understanding that all things are connected by something greater than each of us can possibly understand.

You already know this to be true due to the fact that we are all living in the same world abiding by the same laws of nature, despite the differences in platform or starting point, and the utter dismay and unfairness that might instill within ones heart, or by the sheer fact we are able to learn.

If you already knew the entire breadth of the human experience, never learning or growing as a person, then, first, what would be the point of living, and two, how would you be any different than God?

To live in this world means that we are automatically under the control of the one who laid its foundation, the framework by which we live, and therefore drum we shall orient to.

Spirituality is based on the assumption that despite each of our intricate, yet beautiful, differences, what a drab world it would be if everyone were the exact same, there is a unified goal for each of us to accomplish based on the unified framework we each abide by.

Unfortunately, things go awry when people orient themselves to their immediate desires, disbelieving in themselves, tempted by some external drum, and therefore become oppressed by forces they depend on which then guides them, which automatically means they will suffer the consequences of serving a lesser god who cannot move, breathe, speak, and much less love.

By living in a world in which we don’t fully understand, and we each have the free will to orient to what we believe will provide us what we desire most, we are all oppressed.

John Milton in Paradise Lost wrote that Satan made the decision that he would rather reign in hell than serve in heaven.

Are you willing to be oppressed by the highest, thereby gaining the freedom to breathe in maximum fruitfulness, peace, love, and joy, or will you do anything to maintain perceived total control of your life? If so, are you willing to face the consequences?

In my poems, and in my work, I aim to help you orient to the highest drum, finding resonance within your own heart, whatever that may be, and however crazy that may seem to the world, because the only thing that will save the world from pervasive oppression is courage to live according to true love.

May courage guide you in every moment and lead you to your one true love.

In Superabounding Love,

David